It’s amazing how quickly one month has flown by! I can’t believe I’m actually a MOM and a mom to the sweetest, most adorable lil’ boy. It’s also amazing how one lil’ human can change your life completely. Our lives have been consumed with taking care of him but I wanted to carve out some time to share our birth story and give a lil’ update on these past few weeks. Jordan is currently sleeping which he does a lot of right now so here’s hoping he doesn’t wake up so Mommy can finish this post!
Our lil’ guy was breeched almost the whole time I carried him so at 39 weeks, the doctor had a scheduled C-section for me on April 10, 2019. I was indifferent on our birth plan – in the end having a healthy baby was all that mattered to me. We tried many things to get him to naturally turn including playing music at my feet and figure 8’s but I think he ran out of room and simply had no where to turn! It was a lil’ weird because I didn’t have the anticipation of when he was going to arrive. I woke up the morning of April 10th and had a chance to shower, get ready and it kind of felt like any other day. Even driving to the hospital – it still felt so surreal. I took this photo the morning of:
Once we arrived at the hospital, they began prepping me for surgery. I was a little nervous but I think I was more anxious to meet him and see what/who he looks like! Even in the prep room and with the nurses and doctors speaking to me, it still hadn’t hit me that I was about to have major surgery and give birth to my baby boy in 2 hours! Truth be told I was on phone, checking emails and responding to work messages!
At 1pm, the nurse told me that she was going to bring me into the operating room first and Jason would come in a little later. I was still pretty chill until I got inside the operating room. I know it’s an operating room but I didn’t expect it to be so sterile and cold looking. There were about 8 people inside all prepping for my surgery and just lil’ me in this big room with all this equipment and surgical tools. I started to panic and cry. The nurse quickly tried to calm me down and mentioned that I didn’t want to ruin my eyelash extensions did I? I couldn’t help it – I was crying because I didn’t want anything to go wrong. So many negative thoughts entered my head and all I wanted to do was get it over as quickly as possible. But now the anticipation of the moment was getting the best of me. Then they brought Jason in and I felt a little better. I couldn’t wait to meet our baby and just tried to focus on that. Then the C-section started and all I remember was there was sooo much pressure and I couldn’t stop uncontrollably shaking. It didn’t hurt necessarily but there was so much pulling and tugging that I did feel extremely uncomfortable and kept groaning in discomfort. So the anesthesiologist gave me a bit more meds to calm me down. It worked and worked so well that the rest of the birth was a blur.
I am sad that I can’t remember the moment he was introduced to this world or the cutting his umbilical cord but I am just so happy he is healthy and the surgery went well. I do remember catching glimpses of Jason and seeing tears in his eyes. I was still shaking and so out of it that I didn’t realize he was really here until an hour later in the recovery room and I looked over and saw my baby boy for the first time. And the first thing I said was “wow, he’s so big!” And he was! I can’t believe this guy at 7lbs 10oz, 20 inches ever fit inside me! And once I realized he was here and he was mine, I didn’t want to stop holding and kissing him. He already became my whole world.
Since I had a C-section, I spent the next 3 nights/4 days in the hospital. It was nice to be under the care of the nurses who helped show us how to care for our newborn as well as check on my recovery and give me some useful breastfeeding techniques. Since I had major surgery, I was told to rest as much as possible and simple things like getting in and out of bed was a struggle at first. Also it was painful to laugh, cough or sneeze. Jason became super dad right away and helped me with diaper changes, soothing Jordan and bringing him to me for feedings. He has been the most amazing father and seeing him as a dad has made me fall in love with him even more.
The hardest part of our hospital stay was when Jordan was diagnosed with jaundice (yellowing of the skin) which is common in Asian male babies (Jason had it as a newborn too). For 24 hours, they had Jordan under this blue light therapy to treat the jaundice. While under the light, he was only allowed to wear a diaper and this eye mask. He could only be taken out for feedings and at 30 min max at one time. When I first saw him unclothed and under the light, I cried. I was worried he would be so cold and uncomfortable. But he did amazing and showed he was stronger than his mama! Being an IVF baby, we always knew how strong he was. He was our embryo that could.
I’ve been asked a lot about what I packed in my hospital bag. I did a lot of research and packed so much but honestly the hospital had just about everything we needed and I rarely took anything out of my bag! The must-haves for me were:
(1) sweater (hospitals are cold)
(2) robe (to wear when visitors come and you don’t want to be in your gown)
(3) hands free pumping bra – the nurses had me start pumping on day 2 so that my milk would come sooner. I didn’t bring my hands free pumping bra but I wished I did!
(4) chapstick – lips do get dry after birth!
(5) computer/ipad for dad – there is a lot of downtime when the baby is sleeping and mom is napping!
(6) a comfy outfit for me and baby to go home in. This maxi dress was loose enough that it didn’t rub against my c-section incision.
We were excited to finally leave the hospital and introduce Jordan to his new home. We were sad the nurses couldn’t come with us though. I actually cried (I know, I cried a lot) when they wheelchaired me out as it was so real that he was ours and coming home with us. I waited so long for our Jordan Chase and he was finally here.
Jordan has been since a good baby so far (hoping he stays this way)! He sleeps 16-18 hours a day and then eats, looks around and poops the rest of the time. I’ve become one of those moms who is already sad that he will leave me one day for college lol. He has already changed and grown so much and although I love seeing all the developments, I’m sad because I love this newborn stage so much! Jason has been incredible and has helped me with late night feedings, diaper duties and just about everything. Jordan looks so much like his daddy and I already know they will be the best of friends.
We’ve slowly been getting back into work related items with emails, a few meetings and visits to the cafe. We are thankful for Jason’s mom who has been staying with us and helping out with cooking and cleaning! Grandma also did a few babysitting sessions so we could have a sushi date night and watch the Avengers!
As mentioned above, I’ve had so much help from Jason, our families and our friends. This has really helped me recover quickly and also focus on feeding and bonding with Jordan. The incision has healed nicely and I have minimal pain right now. I’m almost at my pre-pregnancy weight thanks to breastfeeding/pumping. Since he only wakes up for 2 feedings at night and Jason helps me with those, I am able to sleep in 3-4 hour blocks and get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. I feel well rested and am just trying to soak in all of the newborn time I can. I love that he recognizes my voice now and talking to him, reading to him and bathing him are some of our favorite activities together. This bond is something I have always wanted to experience and it’s more incredible than I could ever have imagined. I feel so fortunate for my support system and that I haven’t had to deal with any postpartum issues so far.
I will be sharing a post soon with some of my newborn must haves!