It’s been a while since I blogged about our IVF but I just wanted to update y’all on what’s happening since I’ve been getting a lot of questions on my Instagram. We really appreciate everyone being so concerned with our #ivfjourney and in this with us!
Our 2nd transfer is tomorrow!!! As I noted in this post, after egg retrieval and genetic testing in December, we had 3 viable embryos. In February, we did our 1st transfer with 1 embryo which resulted in a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage. We took a month off to heal and regroup. In May, I started taking Depot Lupron which my doctor recommended to cleanse my body and get rid of more of the endometriosis. These injections last 1 month and I did them for 2 months for it to be more effective. A few weeks ago I started my transfer cycle (estrogen pills and progesterone injections) and fast forward to now and we have our transfer tomorrow!
So how do I feel?! Honestly, very anxious. After the 1st failed transfer, I wanted to try again immediately. You know when you want something so bad? Our doctor actually advised us not to rush into another transfer especially since we only have 2 embryos left and so we went on vacation to Hawaii and just focused on the business. So I’ve been waiting patiently these past 5 months and the day is finally almost here. It’s hard not to forget the devastation of last time and not blame yourself for why it failed. So this time, I decided to do some things to better prepare myself both physically and emotionally and I will be sharing these 10 things with you in today’s blog post. Keep in mind, I have not had a successful transfer yet so I’m not sure if what I’m doing is right. But emotionally I feel better and more equipped to handle the outcome.
1. Dieting – with our busy work lives, dieting is one of the hardest changes to make for me. I usually have very little time to eat during the day and at night, I love going out to eat because it’s our perfect way to unwind or catch up with friends. I didn’t want to stress myself out by being on some kind of crazy diet that would make me miserable. So instead I incorporated things like eating kale everyday, cutting out sugary drinks and sweets, eating no fast food (although I caved and had in-n-out last week), reducing my carbs intake (damn you guacamole and chips) and drinking room temperature water (it’s too hard to drink hot water in this heatwave right now). I’m not sure if these changes will help our outcome but at least these are health changes that will benefit me regardless.
2. Vitamins – honestly I don’t even know what I’m taking anymore. I’m like taking 20 pills a day. Recommendations from my doctor include Vitamin E, Vitamin D, Udo Oil, prenatal vitamins, extra folic acid and Vitamin C.
3. Acupuncture – this was the biggest change for me. I started acupuncture 6 weeks ago and have been going 2x a week ever since. Acupuncture is suppose to increase blood flow to the reproductive organs. I HATE needles. I can’t even look when I’m getting my blood drawn. But after a few weeks of going, I relaxed and now I fall asleep during the treatment. If it doesn’t help with fertility, it certainly helped with me feeling more calm and less stressed.
4. No work after 9pm – this sounds easy but for business owners, it’s not. For online shop owners especially, business is there 24/7 so there’s always something to work on. But for the past couple of months, I started closing my laptop after 9pm (does that sound early or late?) when I’m home and just letting myself de-stress from the whole day. I then proceed to watch hours of the Bachelorette and BravoTV followed by The Handmaid’s Tale which Jason finally stops working and joins me in bed.
5. Wearing socks – it might be an Asian thing but they say to keep your feet warm at all times. This is hard when it’s so hot outside and you are wearing a cute romper. But when I get home, I wear socks all the time and when I’m sleeping. Again not sure if it really does anything but now I can’t sleep without socks on!
6. Taking a Girls’ trip – earlier this month I told Jason “I’m going on this girls’ trip and you are going to work while I’m gone!” And so I did! It was fun to getaway with just the girls and not worry about anything. Sometimes you just need time to yourself or with the gals to recharge and have a little fun!
7. Not sweating over the little things – which I admit I use to do all the time and sometimes still do. Maybe it’s because we have so much going on all at once, that I can’t really stress out about everything but I feel better at prioritizing and not freaking out when things don’t go as planned. We have also trained our staff to the point where we can take a step back and let them really shine.
8. Crying – yes I just let myself cry. I cry the most in the shower or when I’m driving by myself. I feel it’s good to let it out although my eyelash extensions lady probably hates me. It’s ok to cry – it’s not an easy process and you don’t always have to be so strong.
9. Building a support system – this was probably the best thing (so far) that came out of our #IVFjourney. We met so many incredible women and couples who have shared their stories, tips and support with us. We have formed friendships that have gone beyond the scope of IVF. And when I’m having a not-so-great-I-don’t-think-I-can-do-this-day, I’ve turned to these ladies who have uplifted me and kept me going. Our men are our warriors but sometimes hearing it from another female makes all the difference.
10. Taking time off – this will probably be the hardest for me. When we did our last transfer, we had just opened our new cafe so it was really, really hard to be away. We were still so new and working out so many operational challenges. Now 5 months later, we have an amazing team that I know can handle things while I take some time off. I just have to remember that taking time off also means not messaging my team, checking emails or worrying about everything!
So there you have it! It’s crazy that our fertility journey has become the new normal for us. Doctor visits, blood tests, injections, etc… have become a part of our regular day. I never wished to go through this but I feel blessed that I have the most amazing and supportive partner to tackle this #ivfjourney with. I will be posting more on my Instagram Stories so please follow me there if you want more regular updates. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us with comments, support and prayers! It’s amazing how strong our community is! Wish us luck!
Good luck K+J. Love you both.
Thanks for sharing your story!! I know this is easier said than done, but when I did my transfer I was very optimistic and tried to get rid of all negative thoughts. I think that helped a lot. I also prayed a lot and went to Our Lady of Pillar Church in Santa Ana quite a bit to pray. My sister-in-law’s sisters who struggled with infertility all went there to pray and eventually they got pregnant. I’m not sure if it’s true, but I’ll do anything and we ended up getting pregnant (through IVF). My husband went there prior to his job interview and he got the job he wanted. Good luck tomorrow and sending you some baby dust!!
I’ll be thinking of you and hoping for the best. We just scheduled our first IUI and I am in the same boat. Emotional and very nervous. I also have been doing similar things to try to help the possible success: restricting carbs and processed foods, adding a green supplement daily, vitamins galore, acupuncture, making sure I get enough sleep every night (hardest one so far), writing in my journal, drinking enough water and hot tea every night before bed. It seems like a constant effort and I hope it doesn’t make it even harder on me if it doesn’t work, but I never want to think there was something else I could have done. lots of prayers and positive thoughts headed your way!
You are such a trooper thanks for sharing.
Wishing you the best of luck and lots of baby dust tomorrow!
I love you!!!!! Thank u for always being so candid. Sending you Thuongness from Saigon
good Luck.All will be good
Wishing you the best of luck and peace for whatever outcome. We are on try #3 for IUI! You are not alone! I’ve begun to appreciate the bruises on my stomach from those injections.:) Stay strong and know that God has a plan!